Tags
accident, ambulance, bad week, bouncing back, car accident, car crash, crash, friends, friendship, hospital, NHS, recovery
Four days ago I got hit by a car.
A normal day, driving from meeting to meeting, I have a good visit to a young person with my new colleague S. She is nice, we had a good banter, I feel full of energy and plans and focused like I haven’t been in a while. I feel relaxed, I feel happy.
I am trying to pull out on a busy junction, didn’t see the car coming, the driver was going too fast, crash. He crashed into my side before I even realized what had happened.
Snippets of the afternoon come and go and dance around in my head.
I remember mot being able to move my arms.
I remember closing my eyes and thinking I won’t open them until I can open them realizing it has all just been a bad dream.
But it hasnt.
An hour and a half after the crash I lie on a hard pritch in an ambulance. My head is in a cage, my body in a corset, they don’t know if my neck is broken, they need to keep me still.
I am in bad pain and cant breathe.
The paramedic lady is lovely and tries to make small talk as they tend to do to keep you from sinking into unconsciousness.
I’d much prefer unconsciousness and her to be quiet but she is pretty good at her job and keeps on talking.
Her name is Emma, she has a kind face, freckles and a nice smile and for a minute I wonder what it must be like to do this job.
It seems to take forever, the drive to the hospital, I can see the clouds when I look up, it is a nice day, one of the first sunny days we have had all summer.
At the hospital an overworked grumpy doctor tells me that my neck isnt broken. A is there, I say “Can we go home?”
We can, later. He takes my hand, I feel very little, walking unsteady, the hospital name tag still around my wrist, my hair messy.
I am tired from the painkillers. The English love their painkillers. In my four years over here I have noticed that they easily give you some real strong drugs, some that are illegal in Germany. The English Health system is broke and it is cheaper to sedate people’s pains than looking for the cause.
The next couple of days are hazy. I slip in and out of sleep, I am in pain. Messages from my friends keep flooding in and it is all that prevents me from having a meltdown. I felt overworked and stressed before the accident. I am trying to keep my focus and somehow I manage.
I am sensitive, but I have also always been stubborn and resilient.
I am like a little bouncing ball. I always bounce back.
I understood that when I sat on an exercise bike a week ten days after breaking my foot and having an operation last year. After four months I stood on top of a mountain in the Olympic mountains. It was a steep climb and I fought every step of it but then I stood on the top and I knew I would always bounce back.
I am feeling more grateful than ever for my friends. I hate living abroad on my own sometimes, but whenever something bad happens, everyone is there, even if it’s just on the phone or in a text message, but I can feel my friend’s love and care surrounding me like a shield. It’s beautiful.